Single

Some of my favorite shots from last night

I am newly single - doesn't feel as "good" as I was expecting. Hmmm... I think I'm still madly in love with my ex (not the most recent one, but on and off one for four year) or maybe just mad.

peace.love.em

Gettin' Crafty

I finished the purse I was making for Ms. Deborah yesterday. She loved it so much she started crying. Gotta love homemade gifts!

This weekend I'll be working on the invites for Andrew's grad party. I think I've got the idea down, just need to buy a few more supplies and start and assembly line and they'll be ready to send out! I'm getting so excited about his party! I just love planning and keep coming up with new ideas! Ms. Deborah's doing the cake. I swear, some of the cakes she's done look like they could be in one of those decorating shows on TV. We have a lot of ideas for that, but need to "finalize" a plan of action. We still have about 3 weeks left, but I know that time will fly by and I'll be visiting friends and family in MN the week before.

SO glad that I only have to work 'til 3:30 today even though I know that the time will drag... I need to swing by the library to pic up a new book and maybe Hobby Lobby to get some invite supplies (unless Ms. Deborah gets it - will have to ask first) and some more fabric. I'm really motivated to make more purses. Ms. Deborah wants me to make some for her friends but she hasn't told me what colors/patterns to use yet so I may just start making a stock pile of the to sell at some point in the future :)

May Day

I'm not feeling too type-y so here are some pictures to sum up my trip to Oklahoma this weekend!

OKC Bombing Memorial

OKC Bombing Memorial

OKC Bombing Memorial

OKC Bombing Memorial

OKC Bombing Memorial

My Favorite Butterfly, a Monarch, at the Memorial

Lunch at Toby Keith's

Have a goooooood week!

peace.love.em

J/K,. No, but Seriously...

Another week has zoomed by. I almost feel like my life is slipping away! j/k No... seriously.... kinda. I'm so glad today is a short day at work, Unfortunately we are usually a bit slower which makes time drag out so much more! I don't really have any plans for this afternoon/evening. I did buy fabric the other day to make Ms. Deborah a purse that I might work on. I wanted to start last night but I was so unmotivated. I was supposed to meet Katie at Barnes & Noble but I just wasn't feeling that great and felt it would be best to rest. I love my friends but sometimes their drama can be a bit too draining. Staying at home didn't seem to help much. I get into a "blah" mood too easily when I stay in lately. I need to find a good balance of going out (even if it's just errands) and just being at home for the evening.

So I'm still dating Greg. I've been trying to text him more but it seems like such an act. Wednesday I went to the gym because I was feeling restless and just needed to let out some tension - gotta love endorphins, seriously! I was on my way out and I ran into my ex that's a trainer there. Now he was my first "love", the one who broke my heart into a million pieces, etc. Things have been off and on the past 4 years with us being friends, more than friends, and not speaking at all. We had a bit of a thing going on this past summer. I was for sure something was going to happen between us. We've always had a strong chemistry and I've always felt differently (stronger) about him than any of the other guys I've dated. I've always wanted more from the relationship than he has and that's our main problem. Anyways, long story short, I decided that I could not go on being "just friends" with a liar (he had tricked me yet again). We hadn't had any contact what so ever since last September until a few weeks ago.

So me being in a perky mood (thanks, endorphins) we ended up chatting for a bit and it all came back. All those memories, that chemistry, old plans and dreams. I am pathetic, I'll admit it. When I left he said he hopes that he'll "have the pleasure of running into me again" (at the gym). I creeped on checked his Facebook later that night (I had blocked him because it was too hard to see him commenting on other people's profiles and see him and his new girlfriend). Turns out he's single.... Of course I read into everything and think that maybe, just maybe things will be different this time (as opposed to all of the other "this times").

No, I really don't think things will be any different. What I want is for us to finally be happy together and get back all of that lost time and let go of resentments from years ago. With other guys (Greg) I tend to feel kinda numb, just going through the motions. I feel obligated to see them and don't get that "giddy with excitement" feeling being around them or thinking about them. But with him and a 25 min conversation I feel like a little teenager again, thinking every love song is written for me and drawing little hearts everywhere. I know that we want different things so it's best to have nothing at all because I'm never satisfied with being just friends. It's hard to know where to draw the line.

I'm trying to feel that way about Greg hoping that maybe something will click and I won't have my ex on my brain so I can finally build up better relationships. My heart and my head are constantly telling me different things and it's frustrating to say the least...

Happy Hump Day (already?!)

Me and Katie Before the Game

I had such a good weekend. It was near perfect! Saturday's double date was a bit awkward, but it was still good to see Katie (thank goodness she was there!). It was so windy the whole night - well, this whole week, really. I kept seeing everyone at the game checking the weather radar on their phones because the ballpark was surrounded by ominous clouds. Tornado producing storms were supposed to hit us but luckily we just had a bit of rain off and on towards the middle of the game and were blessed with quite a lightning show!

Our View

We had a very blessed Easter Sunday. My Easter basket was full of Reese's peanut butter eggs, Cadbury Creme Eggs (an Easter MUST), a new Otter Box for my iPhone, TWLOHA bracelet, peace sign magnetic car decal, and socks with a zipper for keys & money for me to wear on my walks. Easter didn't start off all that great with my dad in one of his "moods" and even though we got to church early we had to stand because it was so full. Afterwards we picked up some Easter lilies at the grocery store and went to pick up my mom's cousin for lunch. She's in her mid 80s but does very well for her age, especially living on her own. We arrived at Olive Garden after 11 am and I was shocked by how empty it was. Waiters were everywhere - almost outnumbering the diners! Even by the time we left, almost an hour later, there were several empty tables and no one waiting. Hmmm, it just seemed strange to me. Maybe it's signs of the economy, having more people stay in and cooking for themselves.

What do you normally do for Easter? Go out? Stay in?

For the rest of the day I watched the Rangers on TV (they swept the Royals!) and was quite crafty. I've started making bracelets for friends. They think they are amazing, but they are so simple to make - they aren't that big of a deal! lol

Get Crafty!

Peace.love.em

Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail!

Hoppin' down the bunny trail. Hippity hoppity Easter's on it's waaaaaay!!!

Yesterday ended up being a ton of fun! It just needed a little push to get going! Easter egg decorating and Ranger's game with my brother, his girlfriend, and grandma! Such a fun bunch! We went to see the fireworks after the game but the fire marshals said it was too windy. We spent over an hour stuck in traffic trying to get out. Despite being disappointed, sleepy, and hungry it was a great night! Going shopping with one of my best friends this soon, then out to eat and the Ranger's game (again) with some friends *will probably be ending things with Greg tonight or soon!

Hug Trees

Well, last night felt like an epic fail. I just felt awful and didn't sleep well. Which means I was up before 7 am on my day off...boo! I guess I didn't leave the house after I got home and I had been. I just felt very restless and unproductive. The medicine is finally starting to make me feel a little bit better. I am going to try to venture out soon. Not sure what I'll do, but all I know is that I NEED to get out of the house! In honor of Earth Day Starbucks is giving away free coffee and tea when you bring in a reusable mug. So obviously I will be taking advantage of that!

It's kinda funny how things work out. I've been praying for more direction and a few job - something that I'll enjoy more. I got a call from one of my friends who I hadn't heard from in a while last night. She has been directing several colorguards over the past few years and said that she needed someone to be a director of a school for the fall season. Now, immediately I thought "ummm, no. I haven't spun in years and never felt passionate enough about guard to be a director." She told me that the guard was going to be very small, but she thought that I'd be prefect for the job. She would basically coordinate everything and write the show. All I need to do is clean the work, show up to practice from 7-8:30 am, and go to their games on Thursday nights. This would fit in perfectly with my current school/work schedule. Plus, It's around $20 and hour which is MUCH better than what I'm making now. An even bigger selling point for me is that their show is "Phantom of the Opera!!!" I was thinking recently how much I love "Phantom!" It's kinda like a sign! I'm on board for the fall, she just needs to talk to the band director. I might be able to help in the summer for camps but probably can't be there full-time since I'll still be working during the day. It seems like a really good opportunity it it all works out. I've been missing dance and have been thinking more of teaching in general. This would give me a taste of both without too much of a time comittment. I really hope it all works out!

I decided that I will be going to the Ranger's game tomorrow night with Greg, one of my best friends, and her boyfriend. I'm afraid that it will be awkward between me and Greg. We did talk on the phone the other night to clear up a few things - or tried to. He then proceeded to invite me to another game on Sunday (which I politely declined) and talked my ear off until I told him that I had to get ready for bed. It is so difficult to know if it is him or me as to why I want out of the "relationship." I've told him several times already that I can't emotionally and physically be around as much as he wants me to be. He's more dramatic than some of my girl friends, I swear! I really don't know... I felt a bit better after talking to him so I guess that I'll have to see how the game goes tomorrow. Katie being a diehard baseball fan wants to leave three hours before the game starts to make sure we beat the rush and can watch the pre-game shows. I enjoy baseball but I'll admit that I am not as "enthusiastic" about it as the people I'm going with. It could possibly be a very long, draining evening.

I guess that's one of the reasons I have been pulling away from people and events. Because they are so draining (emotionally and physically)... But having a night in did help me realize that I can't be a bum every day. I guess it largely depends on who I'm around. Some people energize me versus "zap" me.

Happy Earth Day. Go hug trees!

peace.love.em