Saturday, May 21, 2011

Go in Peace

So the whole "sleeping in on Saturday thing" was not in the cards for me this morning. I woke up around 6 to go to the bathroom and couldn't fall back to sleep. Oh well... Since I'm up I'm trying to get little odds and ends together - yay productivity!

New Fave Drink: Java Chip Light
I had a pretty interesting night last night. For those who have been keeping up with this blog I have mentioned one of my ex's who has come back into my life. We ended up having coffee and catching up last night. I was pretty apprehensive about the whole thing to be honest. It's just that we have gone through so much over the years and I have so many "expectations" and resentments ruminating in my little head about him. I know that he still has a pretty tight hold over my emotions. I recognize that I have a lot going on in my life and that the las thing I need is for him to do or say (or not do or say) something to push me over the edge. Luckily things went better than expected. Listening to him talk about where he has been, where he is now, and where he'd like to go has made me question what I ever thought was so wonderful about him in the first place.

 As Taylor Swift sings "maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes, never really had a chance..." A lot of the bitter feelings that I had are gone, or at least not as strong. He's not really looking for a relationship/what he wants from life right now is not what I need (we really didn't talk much about us). Normally after having these types of conversations I would leave feeling emotionally drained and upset. I mean, I didn't leave full of joy, but I didn't feel much worse than when I met him.

I'm not sure where things will go from here. We might stay in touch and meet up for coffee again soon, or the only contact I'll have with him will be when I see him at the gym. I don't know. If I've learned one thing it's that I need to stop trying to plan everything out how I think it should go - life just doesn't go that way and you only get hurt and let down.

Moral of the story: Go with the flow. Stop trying to swim against the current to get something you want or make the other side of the river out to be paradise when it could be be a war zone.


  • Yoga/Pilates - I've been practicing more lately (trying to develop a habit) and am feeling sore - those muscles are working!
  • Finish table runner - I'm finally on the last step
  • Spend time with Grandma - her flight gets in this morning!
Christmas 2010
  • Shopping for the rest of the supplies for Andrew's grad party and working on the decor with Ms. Deb
  • Hair Trim
  • Phantom of the Opera watching party with Chels to get ideas for the guard show we are co-writing
  • Curling up with a book - rainy weekend

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