Hug Trees

Well, last night felt like an epic fail. I just felt awful and didn't sleep well. Which means I was up before 7 am on my day off...boo! I guess I didn't leave the house after I got home and I had been. I just felt very restless and unproductive. The medicine is finally starting to make me feel a little bit better. I am going to try to venture out soon. Not sure what I'll do, but all I know is that I NEED to get out of the house! In honor of Earth Day Starbucks is giving away free coffee and tea when you bring in a reusable mug. So obviously I will be taking advantage of that!

It's kinda funny how things work out. I've been praying for more direction and a few job - something that I'll enjoy more. I got a call from one of my friends who I hadn't heard from in a while last night. She has been directing several colorguards over the past few years and said that she needed someone to be a director of a school for the fall season. Now, immediately I thought "ummm, no. I haven't spun in years and never felt passionate enough about guard to be a director." She told me that the guard was going to be very small, but she thought that I'd be prefect for the job. She would basically coordinate everything and write the show. All I need to do is clean the work, show up to practice from 7-8:30 am, and go to their games on Thursday nights. This would fit in perfectly with my current school/work schedule. Plus, It's around $20 and hour which is MUCH better than what I'm making now. An even bigger selling point for me is that their show is "Phantom of the Opera!!!" I was thinking recently how much I love "Phantom!" It's kinda like a sign! I'm on board for the fall, she just needs to talk to the band director. I might be able to help in the summer for camps but probably can't be there full-time since I'll still be working during the day. It seems like a really good opportunity it it all works out. I've been missing dance and have been thinking more of teaching in general. This would give me a taste of both without too much of a time comittment. I really hope it all works out!

I decided that I will be going to the Ranger's game tomorrow night with Greg, one of my best friends, and her boyfriend. I'm afraid that it will be awkward between me and Greg. We did talk on the phone the other night to clear up a few things - or tried to. He then proceeded to invite me to another game on Sunday (which I politely declined) and talked my ear off until I told him that I had to get ready for bed. It is so difficult to know if it is him or me as to why I want out of the "relationship." I've told him several times already that I can't emotionally and physically be around as much as he wants me to be. He's more dramatic than some of my girl friends, I swear! I really don't know... I felt a bit better after talking to him so I guess that I'll have to see how the game goes tomorrow. Katie being a diehard baseball fan wants to leave three hours before the game starts to make sure we beat the rush and can watch the pre-game shows. I enjoy baseball but I'll admit that I am not as "enthusiastic" about it as the people I'm going with. It could possibly be a very long, draining evening.

I guess that's one of the reasons I have been pulling away from people and events. Because they are so draining (emotionally and physically)... But having a night in did help me realize that I can't be a bum every day. I guess it largely depends on who I'm around. Some people energize me versus "zap" me.

Happy Earth Day. Go hug trees!

peace.love.em