Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dream Crusher.

It was one of those rare morning that I actually needed my alarm to wake me up. I put off getting out of bed for as long as possible. I read until my eyes couldn't stay open any longer, which wasn't until after one.

 Lesson learned: it is not a good idea for me to do cardio past 9:30 pm. But I was just so restless last night... I decided to skip class since it was the last one and we were going to go over stuff that is way over my head, causing me not to pay attention anyways... So instead of searching the internet for answers on what to do with my life at school, I stayed home. I saved gas, but not much sanity.

I've also come to notice that I tell myself that "I can't" way too much. This mainly refers to graduate school/future plans and goals. The reference letters, GRE tests, pre-requisite courses are all so intimidating. Some days I just wish I could start my college career over - completely - and not have to worry about grad school. I could major in something that doesn't require more time, money, and school or at least be better prepared for grad school programs that I'm interested in now.

I'm in this "I need to get out of here" mood. It's hotter than Hades here, draining me of energy. There are so many things I want to do outside: hiking, walking around the lake, walking around downtown, go to the farmer's market, go out on the lake (if I had a boat), have picnics, etc. Stupid heat! I want to get out! Go somewhere cooler. Somewhere new. Although I know from past experience that changing location does not "solve" problems.

But I keep finding myself looking at universities in different states (mainly Kansas, Missouri, and D.C). Because I feel that going to school "justifies" me moving away...

I want to be here again (Normandy, France):


Or Rome. I've been "Rome sick lately"

My mom, brother, and I are trying to plan a long weekend trip for next weekend (dad will be out of town on business). We are all itching for a mini vacation. It's pretty good timing since I have all next week off of work since one of our doctor's will be on vacation and it won't be as busy. It's like "yay, no work!" but then again, I won't be getting paid which is the main reason I'm sticking it out there. But I plan to make the most of my week off even if we don't go anywhere. I want to visit some friends who live close to me, but a bit too far away to see all the time. I have a 10 days for $10 pass for Sunstone Yoga that I've wanted to use! I might try to get in a few OT observation hours. Probably have lunch with my mom. READ, work on a few sewing projects, get my photographs ready to submit for a few contests, those sorts of things.

I plan on having a simple evening tonight since my energy is pretty much negative. I do want to do my power yoga DVD again since it's due tomorrow! I've kinda made a "Friday tradition" of going to the library on my way home from work on Fridays since we get off earlier. I have plenty of books to keep me busy but I want to check out a new yoga/Pilates DVD for sure!

I am leaving you with a gift— peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.
So don’t be troubled or afraid. -John 14:27

No comments:

Post a Comment